Apparently the word “sex” isn’t allowed in ESO…

Hola everyone. While I spent hours trying to get the patch to work on my computer yesterday (it never did, by the way, I have to log in using my old computer until they fix themselves) I started getting messages on Facebook.

I thought people were joking when they told me Sex Sells, my fabulous Companion guild, had its name changed to “Happiness and cudles”. We were likely targeted and reported by people who hate me, because I am, let’s be honest, a super mega mega bitch (as you should be able to see)

BITCH FACE

A few hours later, I get this email from ESO.

As you can imagine, I was quite angry. I tweeted, I Facebooked (IN ALL CAPS, BECAUSE IT’S THE INTERNET), and I sent in this response:

The image isn’t resizing right in my view, so, if you can’t read it without zooming, here’s what it says:

Actually, you changed it to “Happiness and cudles” before you notified me that my guild, which has been around for months, is apparently offensive. You should really spell things properly when you’re changing the name of something someone obviously cares about.

1) Smeg Off

2) Insert Guild Name Here

3) No

Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

So, ESO people picked from those three possible names for our guild. Sadly, Smeg Off was also, apparently, not allowed. Robert, the ESO customer service guy, seemed to think this whole thing was worth smiling over.

Seriously, smeg off.